Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Do I want my own horse?

The owner’s approached me the other day and said that they had something they wanted to give me for all of my work on the ranch… They wanted to take me along when they rescue a  horse!

They would keep it and care for it on the Ranch, they would have a horse trainer come in to work with me and the horse so we could connect before we left for WI.

They want to get a new horse for the ranch regardless, but because of my love for the animals and my work trying to  make it better for the horses, they thought this would be a perfect way to say thank you.

I was absolutely flabbergasted! This was on Saturday.They wanted to go Sunday morning and look at a horse that needed to be rescued. All day long this offer excited me yet haunted me.

Messages from my childhood and my alcoholic dad, about being, “an ungrateful SOB” to my own feelings of awkwardness. I can’t even accept a compliment without feeling weird let alone a gift!

By the end of the day I was emotionally exhausted but I knew I had to decline.

I am not doing what I am doing for anything in return. I am not even doing it for the owners.

I am doing it for the horses! Each day a new break through of a horse that is no longer afraid or does a lip gesture or a great big neigh or whinny as if to say, “I remember you”!  Or trust of one of the most fearful horses sharing their platform with Shadow P1510496 and the one who now lets me wipe the tears out of her eyes.

When I went up by Monique’s pen yesterday and saw  that her urine now drains out of her pen, I was paid plenty!

               That is all the payment I need.

My collouges

Back home I worked 20 hours a week, got paid great with benefits and couldn’t wait to get the 20 hours over with!

Here I can’t wait for the Sun to come up so I can go out and get something done.Belle Starr's Silverado Ranch

I respectfully declined the gift and hope that Linda and Don can understand. 

4 comments:

  1. Hi Cindy,
    What has happened to these horses? Sounds like an awesome experience... I can imagine how fulfilling it must be. Keep up the good work. Give them a treat from me... I think they would like some big red juicy apples.. :)- love ya, Pat

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  2. I know exactly how you feel about having a hard time with compliments. Negative stuff I grew up with but compliments were rare. I would have declined the horse offer as well & would have had a difficult time with the mental side of that decision.

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  3. What you are doing for the horses is wonderful. That is a labor of love, obviously.
    I can appreciate how you feel about them. I am an SPCA fostermom, and to see an abused animal finally come up to you with love and trust is absolutely marvellous. It is all the reward I need.
    Happy Trails, Penny, TX

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  4. Hi Penny, Thank you for commenting on my blog.
    It really made my day. I looked at your blog and see we have other things in common. I am also very interested in MADD. Driving under the influence is a HUGE problem and most states need a kick in the pants to inforce the laws they have and get some stiffer laws in most states! I am from WI and the laws are a joke! I could go on about this for hours!!!!!!!! Thanks again for noticing my blog and for having such wonderful values and beliefs with both animals and humans! Safe Travels,

    Cindy

    ReplyDelete


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